If only I can say NO!

My family are heading a one year commemoration of my late sister, Ita. Dad dropped an invitation call to me and my brothers, Anton and Yudhi. Sometimes I think why we have to formalize the event by inviting relatives and neighbours to a mass or sembahyangan if it will bring us to the feeling of loosing somebody we love? Flashing back to something we don't really want to remember? I don't understand culture. I don't understand people. If only I can say NO for such ceremonial.

In my life my sis is always alive. I talk to her in my heart, pray for her, as usual.

Hopefully only me among the family who has this uneasy feeling.

Me in melancholic mode